I wasn’t always a princess on a pillow. I was born on the mean streets of Santa Monica, my name was “Moon,” and I was infested with fleas. But then one fateful day in 2013, I left for the glamorous life and never looked back. My humans, Elicia and David, saved me from the doldrums of scarcity and mediocrity — thank goodness.
These days, I live a charmed life, shuttling back and forth between Bel Air and Palm Springs, but that’s not to say I don’t have a myriad of tasks and responsibilities from morning until night. I wake up around 5am with a sneaking suspicion that there’s a bird pecking around outside somewhere (and I’m usually right about these things). Sure enough, there are likely a few birds hopping along without a care in the world, and sometimes even a lizard! This gets my blood pumping, at which point I realize that my humans are peacefully sleeping, and that’s not ok.
I do a few rounds, let out some disapproving meows, pounce on the bed, dramatically run off, and dramatically run back. I repeat that until they wake up. Once they’re awake, I get breakfast and then—exhausted, as you can imagine—I sleep for the rest of the day. But not without interruption.
At 9:30, Elicia’s work humans start arriving, sometimes the lawn and pool humans come through, and the box delivery humans stop by. These are all highly suspicious individuals who must be rigorously vetted and evaluated for potential danger. For that reason, I never sleep with my eyes fully closed. Depending on the hour, you can find me in these spots: the pillow on Elicia’s desk, under the coffee table, the pink velvet couch, the white fluffy chair, the white fluffy bench, and on top of the storage towers in the stockrooms.
What I do might look easy, even leisurely, but I assure you it is not. The life of an Office Manager isn’t a cake walk, there are constant disappointments, like stickers that I’m not allowed to eat, pieces of ribbon being yanked from my paws, and objects that I’ve purposely knocked over being rearranged. But on the flip side, there’s always sunshine on my face and kibble in my bowl. Life is not terrible, though I would appreciate a raise in pay and … more attention.