Whenever I get the chance to walk through parks, gardens or flower shops with an abundance of beautiful flowers and foliage, I always have an immense sense of joy. At the same time, I also have the strong urge to make all those beautiful flowers with my own hands — using either cold porcelain clay, edible sugar flower paste, or edible wafer paper.
For me, having fresh flowers as inspiration is wonderful and challenging. It can work as a source of motivation to try and replicate them with my hands, but it is also risky sometimes, because then I feel a great sense of pressure to perform really well.
Having something so imperfectly perfect, namely the fresh flowers, in front of me creates this unrealistic expectation of myself that I can also make something exactly the same — when in reality, that is not the case. This is partly due to my skills, which are still developing, and also my constantly evolving style as an artist. Therefore, I have to constantly remind myself that inspiration is just that, a source of inspiration. It is meant to inspire, not pressure; it is meant to widen our perspective, not to form expectations; and finally, it is meant to be enjoyed and not be stressful.
I’ve been struggling with my mental health for over a decade, so positive thinking really helps shape me into being more open to different experiences and not closed off to meeting my unrealistic expectations. I find that having fresh perspectives and goals in my flower-making career helps to keep my passion alive. For example, when I was first starting out six years ago, the drive to continue learning and exploring was so strong. Every day, I would sit at my crafting desk with so much energy, persistence and patience to learn, create, make mistakes and improve. Nothing could have stopped me from creating.
As time went by, my skills improved and my portfolio expanded. Things started to get easier and, slowly, the days started to become mundane. I started to feel scared that one day, all these pieces that I had worked on — and all my aspirations — would eventually mean nothing to me … that I would have to start at square one again.
This is where I start to reflect on my past, not just my flower-making journey but also my studies and previous jobs, and it’s really helped in grounding me and putting my worries into perspective.
Many years ago, I pursued university degrees in law and accounting, thinking that one day I’d become a fine lawyer or an accomplished accountant. However, I did not end up becoming a corporate professional. Instead, I moved on to working in pastry kitchens.
All these past experiences demonstrated to me that nothing in life is truly ever a mistake. They are just bits and pieces of life that I have to accumulate in my jar of life experiences. All these pieces have helped shape my personality, cultivate my work ethic and, eventually, allowed me to develop the self-discipline to hone my skills in flower making. No experiences or goals, whether they are still being pursued or currently set aside, will ever be wasted in life.
Having that in mind has calmed me and enabled me to be at peace with myself. I have learned that even at a smaller scale of flower making, the same thinking applies. My fears of making ugly flowers, messy stems and unpolished products are all a part of the essential journey in my professional and personal growth.
Process for Creating
When I am lucky, I try to begin each clay flower project with a fresh specimen of the flower that I am trying to create. I love having the fresh flowers before my eyes and in my hands because, most of the time, the tiny details that I personally appreciate are very hard to find captured in a photo on the internet.
However, being in Kuala Lumpur, it is a luxury to study imported flowers — or even have access to the flowers that I want — so most of the time, my first step in any project will be scrolling through Pinterest for photos of what I’d like to create in all sorts of angles. This is why, when I do get to travel overseas,
I fill my camera gallery with endless photos of fresh flowers that I find in gardens or nature strips.
To narrow down my project focus, I will usually begin with a colour palette that I’d like to work with, along with the template of the petals that I have drawn, either by tracing the fresh petals or based on my pictorial research.
While researching, I prioritise photos with details of the flower structure for the initial stages of my project because they will help in deciding which component to begin with in order to be able to properly assemble the flower at the end of the project.
Usually, this means I start with a wire-supported clay stem, then move on to cutting and shaping the petals. Once the petals have dried sufficiently, I will colour the petals with either oil paint or soft pastels. I try my best to replicate nature, but at the same time, it is difficult because nature is perfect in its own imperfect ways. As an artist, I am always itching to include my own little flair in each of my projects.
Sometimes, I make flowers with only a single central stem. However, the sweet peas that I have made for this project consist of multiple, smaller side stems where the individual flowers grow. I find multi-stem flowers very challenging to make because they require me to be more skillful in order to have the final flowers look polished but natural, especially in the joints or seams of the individual stems.
Since clay flowers are meant for decoration and often displayed in a vase, they are to be observed from all angles. So, I make sure to include all the proper details, such as the calyx and the colouring at the back and the bottom of the flower, in order for the flower to stand proud on its own in a vase without having to hide behind anything.
Clay flowers take days, sometimes even weeks, to be completed properly. This is because the handmade nature of these flowers inherently means they are time-consuming to make. The possibilities are endless when it comes to the level of detail that we can include in each piece of work.
My biggest struggle would be having the stem work done perfectly with beautiful seamless joints in each individual stem attachment. I have gradually gotten better at it, after experimenting with various tools and drying times, as well as mix of materials to achieve the finishing I want for my flowers.
Maria Montessori famously said: “Progress is not linear.” This is my favourite quote because it is one of the concepts in life that I struggle with the most in practice. Objectively, I know that the progress chart goes in all sorts of directions while we make mistakes, make improvments, and slowly progress through time. However, in reality, when I am assessing or critiquing my work, I have the tendency to be overly hard on myself and expect my skills to progress in an upward trend consistently.
Therefore, I like having this quote in my mind to remind me from time to time that it is normal not to progress in a straight line, because progress is not linear. Just as I progressed in my studies and career thus far — from accounting and law, to patisserie, and now, flower making — I am bound to experience detours, U-turns, and lots of obstacles and challenges every now and then that will steer my progress chart into a windy path.
I know the road ahead of me will continue to be filled with obstacles, but also achievements. So, I just need to remember to be fair to myself when I am doing self-criticism, and appreciate the small progress but also acknowledge that mistakes are part and parcel of growth.
Whenever I get the chance to walk through parks, gardens or flower shops with an abundance of beautiful flowers and foliage, I always have an immense sense of joy. At the same time, I also have the strong urge to make all those beautiful flowers with my own hands — using either cold porcelain clay, edible sugar flower paste, or edible wafer paper.
For me, having fresh flowers as inspiration is wonderful and challenging. It can work as a source of motivation to try and replicate them with my hands, but it is also risky sometimes, because then I feel a great sense of pressure to perform really well.
Having something so imperfectly perfect, namely the fresh flowers, in front of me creates this unrealistic expectation of myself that I can also make something exactly the same — when in reality, that is not the case. This is partly due to my skills, which are still developing, and also my constantly evolving style as an artist. Therefore, I have to constantly remind myself that inspiration is just that, a source of inspiration. It is meant to inspire, not pressure; it is meant to widen our perspective, not to form expectations; and finally, it is meant to be enjoyed and not be stressful.
I’ve been struggling with my mental health for over a decade, so positive thinking really helps shape me into being more open to different experiences and not closed off to meeting my unrealistic expectations. I find that having fresh perspectives and goals in my flower-making career helps to keep my passion alive. For example, when I was first starting out six years ago, the drive to continue learning and exploring was so strong. Every day, I would sit at my crafting desk with so much energy, persistence and patience to learn, create, make mistakes and improve. Nothing could have stopped me from creating.
As time went by, my skills improved and my portfolio expanded. Things started to get easier and, slowly, the days started to become mundane. I started to feel scared that one day, all these pieces that I had worked on — and all my aspirations — would eventually mean nothing to me … that I would have to start at square one again.
This is where I start to reflect on my past, not just my flower-making journey but also my studies and previous jobs, and it’s really helped in grounding me and putting my worries into perspective.
Many years ago, I pursued university degrees in law and accounting, thinking that one day I’d become a fine lawyer or an accomplished accountant. However, I did not end up becoming a corporate professional. Instead, I moved on to working in pastry kitchens.
All these past experiences demonstrated to me that nothing in life is truly ever a mistake. They are just bits and pieces of life that I have to accumulate in my jar of life experiences. All these pieces have helped shape my personality, cultivate my work ethic and, eventually, allowed me to develop the self-discipline to hone my skills in flower making. No experiences or goals, whether they are still being pursued or currently set aside, will ever be wasted in life.
Having that in mind has calmed me and enabled me to be at peace with myself. I have learned that even at a smaller scale of flower making, the same thinking applies. My fears of making ugly flowers, messy stems and unpolished products are all a part of the essential journey in my professional and personal growth.
Process for Creating
When I am lucky, I try to begin each clay flower project with a fresh specimen of the flower that I am trying to create. I love having the fresh flowers before my eyes and in my hands because, most of the time, the tiny details that I personally appreciate are very hard to find captured in a photo on the internet.
However, being in Kuala Lumpur, it is a luxury to study imported flowers — or even have access to the flowers that I want — so most of the time, my first step in any project will be scrolling through Pinterest for photos of what I’d like to create in all sorts of angles. This is why, when I do get to travel overseas,
I fill my camera gallery with endless photos of fresh flowers that I find in gardens or nature strips.
To narrow down my project focus, I will usually begin with a colour palette that I’d like to work with, along with the template of the petals that I have drawn, either by tracing the fresh petals or based on my pictorial research.
While researching, I prioritise photos with details of the flower structure for the initial stages of my project because they will help in deciding which component to begin with in order to be able to properly assemble the flower at the end of the project.
Usually, this means I start with a wire-supported clay stem, then move on to cutting and shaping the petals. Once the petals have dried sufficiently, I will colour the petals with either oil paint or soft pastels. I try my best to replicate nature, but at the same time, it is difficult because nature is perfect in its own imperfect ways. As an artist, I am always itching to include my own little flair in each of my projects.
Sometimes, I make flowers with only a single central stem. However, the sweet peas that I have made for this project consist of multiple, smaller side stems where the individual flowers grow. I find multi-stem flowers very challenging to make because they require me to be more skillful in order to have the final flowers look polished but natural, especially in the joints or seams of the individual stems.
Since clay flowers are meant for decoration and often displayed in a vase, they are to be observed from all angles. So, I make sure to include all the proper details, such as the calyx and the colouring at the back and the bottom of the flower, in order for the flower to stand proud on its own in a vase without having to hide behind anything.
Clay flowers take days, sometimes even weeks, to be completed properly. This is because the handmade nature of these flowers inherently means they are time-consuming to make. The possibilities are endless when it comes to the level of detail that we can include in each piece of work.
My biggest struggle would be having the stem work done perfectly with beautiful seamless joints in each individual stem attachment. I have gradually gotten better at it, after experimenting with various tools and drying times, as well as mix of materials to achieve the finishing I want for my flowers.
Maria Montessori famously said: “Progress is not linear.” This is my favourite quote because it is one of the concepts in life that I struggle with the most in practice. Objectively, I know that the progress chart goes in all sorts of directions while we make mistakes, make improvments, and slowly progress through time. However, in reality, when I am assessing or critiquing my work, I have the tendency to be overly hard on myself and expect my skills to progress in an upward trend consistently.
Therefore, I like having this quote in my mind to remind me from time to time that it is normal not to progress in a straight line, because progress is not linear. Just as I progressed in my studies and career thus far — from accounting and law, to patisserie, and now, flower making — I am bound to experience detours, U-turns, and lots of obstacles and challenges every now and then that will steer my progress chart into a windy path.
I know the road ahead of me will continue to be filled with obstacles, but also achievements. So, I just need to remember to be fair to myself when I am doing self-criticism, and appreciate the small progress but also acknowledge that mistakes are part and parcel of growth.
